Well, I’m out of the 24/7 prayer bubble now… back to living in the outside world. The world with secular music, movies, TV, advertising… all screaming “you need this NOW and then you’ll be happy!” It’s weird. I have to be intentional. For example, I can’t hide from secular music… but I can choose to not identify with it… if that makes sense. I won’t let it be my comfort like it used to be. If I’m feeling upset I don’t want to run to music about how depressed the singer is, looking for someone to agree with me… so I won’t feel alone in my pain. I don’t need to do that anymore, for now I know that I am loved by the Man of sorrows, familiar with suffering (Isaiah 53:3) who desires that I be with Him where He is (John 17:24)… and in His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11)… and He will never leave me (Deuteronomy 31:6).

Jesus is my sympathetic High Priest (Hebrews 4:15). He became a man. He was tempted in every way, just as we are (Hebrews 4:15). He felt the pain of loneliness and rejection (Matthew 27:46). He was well acquainted with suffering (Isaiah 53:3). He knows what it’s like to be torn between your will and God’s (Luke 22:42)… and therefore how it feels when you choose obedience. This is the One I take my pain and run into. He is Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11). So I trust Him. I lean upon my Beloved (Song of Solomon 8:5), and not upon my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). I choose to love and obey Him.

I love God.

This is the One who is unrelenting for my heart. This is the One who died for me. This is the One who desires that I be with Him where He is (John 17:24). This is the One who disciplines me because He loves me (Hebrews 12:5). This is the One who leads me in paths of righteousness (Psalm 23:3). This is the One I trust. This is the One who doesn’t care if I can’t pray eloquently. This is the One I can come boldly before (Hebrews 4:16). This is the One who delights in showing me mercy (Micah 7:18). This is the One who stores every tear that falls in a bottle and who takes notice of every cry I make to Him (Psalm 56:8).

This post could be never ending. His love for me is never ending.

And so I trust Him.

And I love Him.

These colours clash… I added my thoughts in square brackets…

Hear, O LORD, and answer me, for I am poor and needy. 

Guard my life, for I am devoted to You. You are my God; save your servant who trusts in You [I trust You].

 Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I call to You all day long.

 Bring joy to Your servant, for to You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.

 You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to You [this is who You are. You never change. I believe it].

 Hear my prayer, O LORD; listen to my cry for mercy.

 In the day of my trouble I will call to You, for You will answer me [not necessarily with what I think I want to hear... but You are God... and I am not. So I trust You].

 Among the gods there is none like You, O Lord; no deeds can compare with Yours.

All the nations You have made will come and worship before You, O Lord; they will bring glory to Your name.

For You are great and do marvelous deeds; YOU ALONE ARE GOD [and I am not... so I trust You].

Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.

I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever [the way I feel changes. But You are always worthy of praise. So I praise You always... at least, help me to].

For great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

That was verses 1-14 of Psalm 86.

I love God… and I love the way He is leading my life right now.

I love looking at the sky… especially here… the sky seems so huge! It looks like a big, beautiful dome over us… decorated with clouds and streaks left by planes. The sunrise is tinted pink and gold and purple… yet it doesn’t look tacky… just beautiful.

Beautiful creation = beautiful Creator…

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” Psalm 19:1

I’m on a roll now… here are some other things I think are beautiful… which point me to my beautiful God…

• sunflowers
• the ocean after a storm
• the ocean on a calm day
• a smile that lights up a whole face
• trees that turn red in autumn
• sunrises
• sunsets over the sea
• wide open grassy spaces
• snow capped mountains

to be continued…

“Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.” Job 5:17

“Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.” Psalm 1:1
“Blessed are all who take refuge in Him.” Psalm 2:12, 34:8
“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.” Psalm 32:1, Romans 4:7
“Blessed is the man whose sin the LORD does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit.” Psalm 32:2
“Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people He chose for His inheritance.” Psalm 33:12
“Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust, who does not look to the proud.” Psalm 40:4
“Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble.” Psalm 41:1
“Blessed are those You choose and bring near to live in Your courts! We are filled with the good things of Your house, of Your holy temple.” Psalm 65:4
“Blessed are those who dwell in Your house; they are ever praising You.” Psalm 84:4
“Blessed are those whose strength is in You, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.” Psalm 84:5
“Blessed is the man who trusts in You.” Psalm 84:12
“Blessed are those who have learned to acclaim You, who walk in the light of Your presence.” Psalm 89:15
“Blessed is the man You discipline, O LORD, the man You teach from Your law.” Psalm 94:12
“Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right.” Psalm 106:3
“Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, who finds great delight in His commands.” Psalm 112:1
“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.” Psalm 118:26
“Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD.” Psalm 119:1
“Blessed are they who keep His statutes and seek Him with all their heart.” Psalm 119:2
“Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of [sons born in his youth].” Psalm 127:5
“Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in His ways.” Psalm 128:1
“Thus is the man blessed who fears the LORD.” Psalm 128:4
“Blessed are the people of whom this is true; blessed are the people whose God is the LORD.” Psalm 144:15
“Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God.” Psalm 146:5

“Blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding.” Proverbs 3:13
“Blessed are those who keep My ways.” Proverbs 8:32
“Blessed is the man who listens to Me, watching daily at My doors, waiting at My doorway.” Proverbs 8:34
“Blessed is he who is kind to the needy.” Proverbs 14:21
“Blessed is he who trusts in the LORD.” Proverbs 16:20
“Blessed is the man who always fears the LORD.” Proverbs 28:14
“Blessed is he who keeps the law.” Proverbs 29:18

“Blessed are all who wait for Him!” Isaiah 30:18
“Blessed is the man who [maintains justice and does what is right], the man who holds it fast, who keeps the Sabbath without desecrating it, and keeps his hand from doing any evil.” Isaiah 56:2

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in Him.” Jeremiah 17:7

“Blessed is the one who waits for and reaches the end of the 1,335 days.” Daniel 12:12

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:3
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
“Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5
“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.” Matthew 5:6
“Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Matthew 5:8
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.” Matthew 5:9
“Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 5:10
“Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me.” Matthew 5:11
“Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of Me.” Matthew 11:6, Luke 7:23

“Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!” Luke 1:45
“Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God.” Luke 6:20
“Blessed are you who hunger now, for you will be satisfied.” Luke 6:21
“Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh.” Luke 6:21
“Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man.” Luke 6:22
“Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.” Luke 10:23
“Blessed are those who hear the word of God and obey it.” Luke 11:28
“Blessed is the man who will eat at the feast in the kingdom of God.” Luke 14:15

“Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.” John 20:29

“Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” Romans 4:8
“Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.” Romans 14:22

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12
“Blessed [are] those who have persevered.” James 5:11

“If you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed.” 1 Peter 3:14
“If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you.” 1 Peter 4:14

“Blessed is the one who reads [the book of Revelation].” Revelation 1:3
“Blessed are those who hear [the book of Revelation] and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.” Revelation 1:3
“Blessed is he who stays awake and keeps his clothes with him, so that he may not go naked and be shamefully exposed.” Revelation 16:15
“Blessed are those who are invited to the wedding supper of the Lamb!” Revelation 19:9
“Blessed and holy are those who have part in the first resurrection.” Revelation 20:6
“Blessed is he who keeps the words of the prophecy in this book.” Revelation 22:7
“Blessed are those who wash their robes, that they may have the right to the tree of life and may go through the gates into the city.” Revelation 22:14

“From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another.” John 1:16

God is the perfect leader of my life.

He is the Shepherd and Overseer of my soul (1 Peter 2:25). He knows the plans He has for me… plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). He is a good Father who delights in giving good gifts (Matthew 7:11). He’s not out to get me by making my life as hard as possible so that I sin so He has an excuse to banish me from His presence. He sent His Son to die for me that I could be with Him where He is (John 17:24). He’s given me everything I need for life and godliness (2 Peter 1:3). I have a leader who loves me with an unfailing love… so He leads me in His unfailing love (Exodus 15:13). The leader of my life is Love (1 John 4:8).

I want to know God, I want to love God, I want to be like God. And God wants these things from my life even more than I do… so He made a way for me to know Him through sending Jesus, the image of the invisible God (Colossians 1:15), to earth. He prophesied that we will love Him with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30)… and grace is poured upon His lips (Psalm 45:2)… so with every word He speaks to me comes the grace to walk it out. And He leads me in paths of righteousness (Psalm 23:3), that I would be like Him.

And even though I know these verses, what’s the point of knowing them but not living them? So how do I live knowing that God is the perfect leader of my life? I trust Him. I choose to not lean upon my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) and instead lean upon my Beloved (Song of Songs 8:5). My understanding is so weak… so I lean upon the Lord God Almighty. I trust God.

And sometimes I forget and try to control my own life… but when my plans falls apart He tenderly leads me back to the place of submitting to His leadership. His kindness brings me to repentance (Romans 2:4).

One last point… I find it interesting that the first commandment is to love the Lord our God… the Lord of our lives… the leader of our lives… we are to love His leadership… good thing it’s perfect

1) Jesus said we should always pray and not give up (Luke 18:1)

2) I love God… you can’t help but talk to someone you love

3) God loves me… so He listens to what I have to say and it matters to Him (Song of Songs 2:14)

4) I’m weak and need the help of the Almighty God

5) when I see things in the world which aren’t right I’m able to do something about it… I myself am weak and can’t single handedly bring an end to things like abortion and human trafficking… but I have a God who hears me (Psalm 6:9), sees me (Genesis 16:13), knows me (Psalm 139:1) and loves me (1 John 4:10)… and I can make requests to Him and His heart is moved. So I myself am weak, but my weak love moves the heart of the Lord God Almighty (Song of Songs 4:9)… so through prayer, even in my weakness I’m not powerless

6) Jesus is coming back soon… to the Spirit and the Bride saying ‘come’ (Revelation 22:17)

… and so I pray…

Dance. I like it

I love doing on the outside what my heart is doing on the inside. I love praying through dance. While I just love to talk to God in general, to pray in words on the inside while praying through dance on the outside is a whole different experience for me. I love agreeing with other people’s prayers through dance. Not that there’s anything wrong with saying ‘yes, God’… but agreeing by prophetically dancing what they just prayed is fuuuun. I love to dance when I can’t put words to how I feel. I love to dance when my heart is singing inside me. I love the feeling of getting out of my comfort zone of moves I know I can do and being surprised when I do something I didn’t think I could do. I love messing up a step and laughing because I feel the Lord’s delight. I love that God is teaching me how to dance.

I want to dance and release the testimony of Jesus… the spirit of prophecy (Revelation 19:10). I want to dance and have people get delivered from depression. I want to dance and move the Lord’s heart. I want to dance what is on the Lord’s heart. I want revelation of what is on His heart and language to make it known through dance. I want to dance before the Lord with all my might (2 Samuel 6:14). I want to praise His name with dancing (Psalm 149:3). I want dance to be redefined… no longer an expression of lust and pride, but of love and humility.

And so I dance…

According to Easton’s 1897 Bible Dictionary, jealousy is “the suspicion of a wife’s purity”, therefore jealousy is what a husband feels when his wife is unfaithful. In Exodus 34:14 God says that His name is Jealous, and 1 John 4:8 says that God is love. Therefore, He is jealous love, so everything He does is a manifestation of that jealous love. Proverbs 6:34 says that ‘…jealousy is a husband’s fury…’ (NKJV). His wrath is a manifestation of His jealousy; in His jealous love He is coming to judge the earth. We must not get offended at the judgements of God, for they are Him manifesting His love.

We can’t love some parts of God and not others, for He never suspends part of Himself to be another. He is as much the tender father as the jealous husband. He is still the jealous husband when He’s the tender father. So love the jealous husband as much as the tender father. Set your heart on not being offended by any aspect of God and love all that He is. Don’t be offended by His burning jealousy… lest it burns against you. It’s the Matthew 21:44 concept of falling on the rock lest it falls on you. While it is right to rejoice in the knowledge that God loves you, there should be an aspect of fear and trembling as well. The same love that led Him to giving His Son so that we might be with Him is the same love that is bringing the end time judgements.

Jealousy is His fury. But we can stand before Him confident in His love. He is jealous for us. But in His jealousy He will destroy that which does not love Him in return, that which is unfaithful to Him (Deuteronomy 6:15, 29:20; Zephaniah 1:18, 3:8). So would our hearts burn with the same jealousy for Him so that His jealousy is not directed against us. Would we be found with our hearts burning with love so that we will not be burnt by His jealous love manifested in wrath. We truly need to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength, and in His love He commands us to do so (Mark 12:30 and Luke 10:27). More than that, we were created to live the first commandment. Loving Him is the only way we find true peace and joy. Truly, all things are loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ (Philippians 3:8).

So I want to live the first commandment. I don’t want to be found offended. I want to be found as in love with Him as He’s in love with me. Whether we love Him or not we’re going to be consumed by His jealous love. Loving Him is our only hope… would it be our only desire as well. Would our love abound still more and more in knowledge of God and all discernment, that we may approve the things that are excellent, that we may be sincere and without offense til the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness (Philippians 1:9-11).

 Right now God is teaching me about how He delights in sincere believers. Yes, we may mess up sometimes… or a lot… but His Son went to the cross and made atonement for those sins. It’s pride to think that our sin is too big for it to be covered by the blood of Jesus. God delights in mercy, so when you come to Him in repentance He doesn’t look at you and say “here again? When are you ever going to learn?” He has compassion on all that He has made (Psalm 145:9)… that includes you. So when we ask God for forgiveness, our sin is covered by the blood of Jesus… but when we choose righteousness that moves His heart in a way we can’t even comprehend! Love for God is to obey His commands (1 John 5:3)… so when we choose obedience, no matter how painful or how reluctantly we do, it is showing God that we love Him… and that moves His heart. One glance steals His heart (Song of Songs 4:9)… one weak ‘I love You’ overwhelms His heart. And I love to think what it does to His heart when we obey even when it hurts and we don’t feel like it… because then we are dying to our flesh, and there is no greater love than to lay your life down (John 15:13). So even if we sin all day, but make one righteous decision, we can trust in His unending mercy and unfailing love and come boldly before the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16) and repent and we are forgiven. And that one time we chose righteousness… He notices and it matters to Him… and it moves His heart.