I miss blogging. However, this latest leg of the journey of my life has involved being crazily busy… a wonderful opportunity for me to learn how to wisely manage my time. But there have been casualties along the way… blogging has been one of them I have missed it. I have missed YOU readers

The standout thing I have been learning is that He is faithful. In a previous post I think I mentioned how before leaving IHOP I had the dream about God promising to reveal Himself to me as Faithful and True (Revelation 19:11)… and He has proceeded to do just that. How? By putting and keeping me in times and places where I encounter my own unbelief, as well my need for Him… it has hurt much. And yet I am beginning to see that this place is the perfect arena for me to encounter His faithfulness. Yet, my response has frequently been so much less than gratefulness… my response is so often a wounded accusation against Him. Or, I have chosen to respond by not responding. Sweeping it all under the rug in the name of ‘getting on with real life’. But He is the Life (John 14:6). He is my life. I have no good apart from Him (Psalm 16:2).

But I am beginning to see His wisdom. And part of me hurts to say that… my deceitful heart has yet to always love the truth (Jeremiah 17:9). Which terrifies me (see 2 Thessalonians 2:10)… and yet not enough!! … but I am getting there… and He will see me through. He will. He is faithful.

And these days I still find myself in more instances where I can’t see His faithfulness. But the way I see things isn’t truth. His Word is (John 17:17). So I want to put my trust in His Word. I have to be found leaning upon my Beloved (Song of Songs 8:5)… because my own understanding is so very weak (Proverbs 3:5). And I don’t always do this. I don’t trust Him perfectly. But that is how I desire to be… and He wants that for me even more than I do. And He is so patient with me until I do get there. Yes, sometimes I doubt His faithfulness. But He is set on convincing me. And I want to be convinced. And He is so patient. Showing His faithfulness over and over again until I get it… and even then He continues to be faithful because that is just who He is.

*happy sigh*

I love grace… not an excuse to mess up, but what keeps us going on the journey towards not messing up. He is so patient. He gives grace to the humble (Proverbs 3:34). Oh, that I would be found humble… ever knowing that I need Him. I do. And I love Him. I do. This is my Beloved, this is my friend (Song of Songs 5:16)… I am blessed