Hello readers… I haven’t blogged in a while… but I have been hard at work studying/meditating on Song of Songs I am too busy/lazy to write a post right now, so here is a excerpt from my study notes…

His love is unfailing, unchanging and not reliant on her maturity or ability to love in response to His love. Even though she is immature and dark in heart (Song of Songs 1:5) He has already let her experience His love. His love that remains unchanged despite her weakness and unfaithfulness. He knows that she will fall short, despite the fact that she does have some revelation of His love. Yet He still chooses to lavish love upon her (1 John 3:1). For He delights in showing mercy (Micah 7:18). Though she is dark He counts her as worthy of love and He will be tenderly unrelenting until He has brought her forth into full maturity of love (Song of Songs 8). He sees the end from the beginning and knows who she will be. So despite her weakness and failings He does not give up on her. He goes again (Hosea 3:1), knowing that His faithful pursuit of her heart will awaken faithful love in her. For when she sees Him, she’ll be like Him (1 John 3:2). He is the One who shows her what love is (1 John 3:16).

*happy sigh*

Hello readers… I have been absent from the world of blog for a little while… busyness and lack of internet make frequent blogging pretty much impossible…

Soooo… what I have I been learning/meditating on during my mini-hiatus?? Well, as my regular readers would know by now, I like studying Song of Songs. A lot. Sooo I have been doing that. That deserves a *happy sigh*. One day I was having a “I’m feelin’ the dark… but not so much the lovely” day… but He is showing me over and over again that even in the face of my frequent stumbles and easily distracted-ness He remains faithful and still loves me more than I can comprehend.

So anyway… that day I noticed something that cheered me up… she is the one who calls herself dark (SoS 1:5)… but He only ever calls her lovely etc. Not that He doesn’t see the darkness, or that He’s okay with it being there… but He does not define her by her darkness. Her weakness doesn’t overwhelm Him, but her love does (SoS 4:9)… weak love… but true love. And so it counts before Him. And He is the One who is fully committed and fully able to bring her forth in love (Phil 1:6)… He sees who she will be and so declares it to her, calling her into it (SoS 4:1-15… among others…). Yes, they both know she is dark, prone to wander etcetc… but through it all she loves Him. Even when she rejects His call to the mountains… even when He withdraws His presence… and when she’s happy in His shade… she still calls Him her Beloved (see SoS 2:17, 5:6 and 2:3). Through it all… despite her weakness, unsettled issues, immaturity etcetc… she stills loves Him with her weak-but-true love that overwhelms His heart. So He calls her lovely. And it’s so beautiful to see her learn to believe Him.

*happy sigh* yes, oh yes… I like Song of Songs. Why?? Because I love God and He loves meeee

Song of Songs = my life story

This the response to a teaser in a previous post. I tried to be kind of sneaky because I don’t know for sure, so I was wondering what my readers thought… and I love Katie’s answer (click on the link to the previous post to see her answer). And I talked to a friend who goes to Bible college and he said something I like a lot, that the light then came from the same place the light is going to come from when there is again no sun.

“The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.”

– Revelation 21:23

Yep. Good answer. And then props to Biblegateway for these…

• “… You are my lamp, O LORD, and my God lightens my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29
• “… our God gives light to our eyes…” Ezra 9:8
• “… LORD, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us.” Psalm 4:6
• “For the LORD God is a sun and shield…” Psalm 84:11
• “The LORD is God, and He Has made His light shine upon us.” Psalm 118:27
• “The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light…” Isaiah 60:19
• “… the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:4
• “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6
• “… declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
• “… God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5
• “… the glory of God gives [the New Jerusalem] light…” Revelation 21:23
• “They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light.” Revelation 22:5

I love 1 John 1:5. That God is light. Although that doesn’t mean that light is God. Maybe a bit like a rooster is a chicken but a chicken isn’t necessarily a rooster. God is way more intense than a rooster though but at any rate, one BIG reason why light cannot be God is because God is uncreated. God is the Creator (Romans 1:25), not a creation. God didn’t say “Let there be God…” because that would mean He was created, and that He had a beginning. HE is the beginning (Revelation 1:8).

So I like what Revelation 21:23 says. That His glory gives light… soooo maybe the light was His glory being revealed through creation… to creation. We were, after all, created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7)… and even the heavens declare His glory (Psalm 19:1). So maybe it’s about His glory being revealed in the tangible and visible… that we would encounter Him. Let there be light… let God be revealed to something other than God.

Yep… those are my thoughts… I’m glad you’re reading this, it means my thoughts are getting bounced like a multicoloured bouncy ball… hopefully my thoughts about God are more than a bouncy ball… then again, they are but a drop in an unending ocean…

Eternity is so exciting… that’s how long it takes to search out God… and that’s exactly how long He gives us

Have a good look at Genesis 1… ever noticed that God said let there be light and there was light… but it wasn’t until a couple of days later that He made the sun?? Sooo… where’d the light exude from??

I thought that last night as I read Genesis 1… and felt it was blogworthy… but I don’t have time right now because I am going to dance class so chew on that, maybe comment your thoughts/answers… and I will blog my thoughts in a couple days (note: I said my thoughts, not answers…)

Peace out haha that’s a funny phrase… ohhh dear I am in a silly mood… dancing makes me happy and so does God!!

So this weekend I was flipping through the newspaper’s weekly magazine and one article caught and held my attention… in a nutshell, it’s about how the convents are running out of nuns because all the women are getting older and no young people are joining. But the thing that most made me go ‘wow’ is a quote from one of the nuns at the end of the article:

Sister Nora puts it a little more bluntly. “People think we’ve wasted our lives,” she says.

The table is drawn to silence as the nuns turn towards her.

“That occurred to me at the centenary celebration, when we were at Mass and they were telling the story of Mary Magdalene washing Jesus with the perfume and they said, ‘What a waste, why would she waste the perfume?’ And it really crystallised for me at that moment: that is what people think about us, that we wasted our lives.”

… Sister Nora speaks again: “I don’t think my life has been wasted.”

– extract from the West Weekend Magazine article At the Crossroads

I am not saying that I am about to go convert to Catholicism and join a convent… but something about the life of dedication they live so appeals to me. Because I want to live a simple lifestyle all about seeking Jesus through meditation on the Word and being as He is, a servant of all (Matthew 20:28)… a life that may appear wasted to a world chasing after all those other things… a life given to seeking the one thing needed (Luke 10:42), the one thing I desire (Psalm 27:4)… a life ‘wasted’ at the feet of Jesus… and encountering Him there, listening to what He has to say (Luke 10:39) and being full of joy at the sound of His voice (John 3:29)… and being able to confidently say “I don’t think my life has been wasted.” Whatever that looks like. Whether that looks like sitting in a prayer room or being an accountant who loves Jesus or anything else God has planned for me… no matter what, I want to be found with oil in my lamp (Matthew 25:4), with the first and second commandments as the reality of my heart (Mark 12:30-31), the Sermon on the Mount as my lifestyle (Matthew 5-7)…

Weeell… I don’t know where this post is going, and I have an assignment to work on so I’m going to stop blogging… buuut at any rate, I read the quote and went ‘wow’. So I thought I would share my ‘wow’ with my readers and random websurfers

This verse belongs on the list of verses that do my head in:

“You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8

I was never big on crying… until I went to IHOP. Ohhh dear. Yep, I became a crier. No longer pushing emotions down and out of my mind… but allowed myself to feel. Fear, tenderness, frustration, repentance, joy etcetc… it all made me a bit teary. Still does… but to a lesser extent… and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Whether it shows I have matured or my heart has gotten harder.

Buuut enough about me, I am here to blog about the verse…

Sooo… I like that. That God treasures my tears. That in all my distress He too is distressed (Isaiah 63:9). That even though He is so much bigger than all my problems that seem so overwhelming to my little heart… He is upset that I am upset… because He loves me. He cares about me… and so beckons me to cast all my cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7). It is incredible enough that He even sees my tears and hears my cries (2 Kings 20:5)… but He even stores my tears and records my laments.

When it came to this verse I used to be… and, well, sometimes still can be… part of the “Bible-but Club” (yep, Stuart Greaves has a way with words…). For example I would think that “… the Bible says God stores my tears but… obviously it’s only when I’m crying about the ‘right’ things eg. feelin’ all tender towards Him, getting fresh revelation of His mercy etctec…” and somehow thought that when I was crying about things like me not understanding and being unable to see past something that was making my little heart feel overwhelmed He was disappointed in me for not understanding and so somehow my tears didn’t ‘count’ before Him… that those ones didn’t make it into God’s bottle. Believing that when I don’t “have it all together” my cries mean nothing to Him. Twisting the truth that His ears are attentive to the cry of the righteous (Psalm 34:15) to not include me… despite the fact that through Christ Jesus I now have the gift of righteousness before Him (Romans 5:17). Telling myself that He knows me better than I do (Psalm 139:1), and I am feelin’ pretty overwhelmed by all the darkness in my heart… so obviously He is mad at me too… forgetting that yet He sees the darkness… but He also sees the weak but true desire to fully love and obey Him… and so calls me lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). Forgetting that even when I was His enemy He loved me enough to die for me (Romans 5:10). Forgetting that any righteousness I work up in my own strength is still as filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6), the Holy Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8)… forgetting that I could never ‘earn’ His love. I could never come before Him confident in my own righteousness… but I can boldy come before Him (Hebrews 4:16) because of His great mercy and His righteousness (Daniel 9:18)… the righteousness He has given me.

I need revelation of just how much he loves me… just how tender He is towards me even in my weakness… for my heart to truly believe all the time that my sin, weaknesses and all the little unsettled issues don’t overwhelm Him… yet one little weak glance ravishes His heart (Song of Songs 4:9)… and every little tear is seen… and treasured.

So much for waiting til study break…

I was planning on studying nuclear energy tonight (can someone PLEASE explain how studying nuclear energy will make me a good accountant…) … buuuut blogging is the order of the night.

His presence. Oh how I long for it.

“Blessed are those You choose and bring near to live in Your courts.” Psalm 65:4

“One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple.” Psalm 27:4

“… You will fill me with joy in Your presence…” Psalm 16:11

“I delight to sit in His shade…” Song of Songs 2:3

“Blessed are those who… walk in the light of Your presence…” Psalm 89:15

“… it is good to be near God.” Psalm 73:28

And so on and so on…

This does my head in: I have Christ in me (Colossians 1:27)… and the Holy Spirit dwells within me (1 Corinthians 6:19)… and surely we are carried close to His heart (Isaiah 40:11). Besides, God is omnipresent… and it is written that I cannot flee from His presence (Psalm 139:7)… yet I say that my heart longs for His presence.

All that to say… I say I long for His presence… but really, it is always there. I think that when I say ‘I long for Your presence’ I actually mean that I long to feel the ever-present nearness of God. Oh, that I would be free from distraction and everything that hinders love… that I would be still and at peace… knowing that He is God (Psalm 46:10)… and that He is near.

This is my hope… this is what I live waiting for…

“And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Now the dwelling of God is with men, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.’” Revelation 21:3-4

Come, Lord Jesus…

Soooo… I haven’t been blogging for a lil while… just when I thought my life was crazy busy enough my schedule freeeaked out to the max. Ugh, ugh and more UGH. So expect some quietness here for a little while… at least until “study break” it’s two weeks away… just two weeks… *sigh*

But I am mainly learning about these topics right now (and so will probably blog about them… in two weeks time…):

1. love and obedience… the ‘inseparableness’ of them (LOTS of references here… eg. Deuteronomy 11:1, Nehemiah 1:5, Daniel 9:4, John 14:15… and the list goes on and on and on…)
2. the importance of community (eg. Acts 2:42… neh, I can’t think of any others right now [I am tired.] but there are lots. I’ll bring ‘em up when I get around to blogging about ‘em…)

And then the usual discovering and wrestling with various heart issues… but in turn encountering those things that are so much greater than my weakness… His grace, mercy and love. Seeing more of the darkness of heart (Song of Songs 1:5)… but having my eyes lifted to gaze upon His beauty… that which I so desire (Psalm 27:4)… and somehow through all of it being transformed to be like Him (aaaaargh I should insert a Bible reference here… when I find it I’ll add it…)

Oh the humility. The Holy One (1 Samuel 2:2)… the One totally other than… is fully committed to making me like Him. That deserves a *happy sigh*

This Wednesday night we are worship with the word-ing John 15:13-17… and so I was studying for it tonight (I still am, but am taking a break to blog…) and so I biblegatewayed “great love” and, well, the Bible verses that came up made me feel excited :D so I am sharing them here…

• “… the greatness of Your steadfast love…” Numbers 14:19
• “You have shown great and steadfast love…” 1 Kings 3:6
• “He is good; His love… endures forever.” Ezra 3:11
• “Show the wonder of Your great love, You who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes.” Psalm 17:7
• “… Your great mercy and love… they are from of old.” Psalm 25:6
• “… great is Your love, reaching to the heavens…” Psalm 57:10
• “… great is Your love, higher than the heavens…” Psalm 108:4
• “… great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths of the grave.” Psalm 86:13
• “I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever…” Psalm 89:1
• “… as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him…” Psalm 103:11
• “Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.” Psalm 107:43
• “… great is His love toward us…” Psalm 117:2
• “… His love endures forever.” Psalm 136:4
• “… in love You have delivered my life from the pit of destruction…” Isaiah 38:17
• “I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord… the abundance of His steadfast love.” Isaiah 63:7
• “… so great is His unfailing love.” Lamentations 3:32
• “… because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions…” Ephesians 2:4-5
• “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us…” 1 John 3:1

 … truly, there is NO greater love than this (John 15:13)

 I get a funny feeling reading them… I feel moved by them… and yet I know they should move me so much more than they do… so I am going to stop blogging and keep studying and meditating on them … cuz that’s something I really want in my blogging… I don’t want my blog to be my meditation time, I want it to be the overflow of what I learn in the times where it’s just me and God.

… oh but before I go, one more quick thought… read Psalm 107:43 again… meditating on His love is wisdom!! … that makes me excited

I have been pondering comfort lately. I remember Stuart Greaves saying something along the lines of “what comforts you is what you use to comfort others.” That has stuck with me. Because I want to be someone who directs hearts into the love of God (2 Thessalonians 3:5)… but I am aware that if I am not running into His love and getting experiencial knowledge of the comfort His love alone brings, I won’t be so quick to tell others to run into His love… because I won’t really believe that it helps. Or I’ll be calling people into something I myself am not living. Now, I don’t ‘have it all together’, but I at least want to be trying to do something and bringing others along for the ride instead of “you need to do ‘this, this and this…’” but not actually be doing/trying to do it myself.

So I have been observing myself lately… watching what I run to when I’m needing comfort. Some stuff definitely has to change… food and sleep are the two I have in mind!! There has been some progress though. Back in the ‘dark days’ (hmm… I don’t think I’ve ever shared my testimony on this blog… I should…) I used to listen to depressing music when I was depressed… thinking it would make me feel ‘better’. Surprise surprise… it didn’t. Buut I don’t do that anymore More and more I am starting to go to the Word and feed myself on truth… gaining perspective on the way things really are… the way He sees them. Not the way I see them after they are filtered through my emotions and weak understanding.

I refuse to be comforted by lies. An example of this is how back in the ‘dark days’ I used to stop myself crying by saying “Helen, no-one cares.” But I now know that that’s not true. So now if I cry I take comfort in the fact that God sees and hears and cares about the fact that I am feeling sad (Psalm 56:8). I want to be one who finds truth the source of her comfort.

I want my comfort to be found in the Truth Himself, Jesus Christ (John 14:6)… not only for the sake of my heart, but also that I would direct others into Him too… this One who sympathises with us in our weakness (Hebrews 4:15). This One who Himself is well-acquainted with suffering (Isaiah 53:3), beyond anything we have ever personally experienced. I want to run after Him and into His presence… for in His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11).

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.” 2 Corinthians 3-4