This the response to a teaser in a previous post. I tried to be kind of sneaky because I don’t know for sure, so I was wondering what my readers thought… and I love Katie’s answer (click on the link to the previous post to see her answer). And I talked to a friend who goes to Bible college and he said something I like a lot, that the light then came from the same place the light is going to come from when there is again no sun.

“The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.”

– Revelation 21:23

Yep. Good answer. And then props to Biblegateway for these…

• “… You are my lamp, O LORD, and my God lightens my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29
• “… our God gives light to our eyes…” Ezra 9:8
• “… LORD, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us.” Psalm 4:6
• “For the LORD God is a sun and shield…” Psalm 84:11
• “The LORD is God, and He Has made His light shine upon us.” Psalm 118:27
• “The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light…” Isaiah 60:19
• “… the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:4
• “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6
• “… declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
• “… God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5
• “… the glory of God gives [the New Jerusalem] light…” Revelation 21:23
• “They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light.” Revelation 22:5

I love 1 John 1:5. That God is light. Although that doesn’t mean that light is God. Maybe a bit like a rooster is a chicken but a chicken isn’t necessarily a rooster. God is way more intense than a rooster though but at any rate, one BIG reason why light cannot be God is because God is uncreated. God is the Creator (Romans 1:25), not a creation. God didn’t say “Let there be God…” because that would mean He was created, and that He had a beginning. HE is the beginning (Revelation 1:8).

So I like what Revelation 21:23 says. That His glory gives light… soooo maybe the light was His glory being revealed through creation… to creation. We were, after all, created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7)… and even the heavens declare His glory (Psalm 19:1). So maybe it’s about His glory being revealed in the tangible and visible… that we would encounter Him. Let there be light… let God be revealed to something other than God.

Yep… those are my thoughts… I’m glad you’re reading this, it means my thoughts are getting bounced like a multicoloured bouncy ball… hopefully my thoughts about God are more than a bouncy ball… then again, they are but a drop in an unending ocean…

Eternity is so exciting… that’s how long it takes to search out God… and that’s exactly how long He gives us

Count it all joy (James 1:2), he says!! Oh and “… I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances…” (Philippians 4:11) chimes in his buddy Paul. Oh and if that wasn’t enough, Paul also tells us to “… be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances…” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Yeh, well, what do you guys know?? You’re not a reluctant university student, doing a commerce degree against your will who just wants to be singing and dancing in a prayer room. Ok, Paul, it’s all well and good for you to tell me to count it all joy…

• you received forty stripes minus one from the Jews five times
• you were beaten with rods three times
• you were stoned once
• shipwrecked three times
• have spent a night and a day out at sea
• endangered by waters, robbers, your own countrymen, Gentiles
• endangered in the city, wilderness, at sea, among false brethren
• endured weariness, toil, frequent sleeplessness, hunger, thirst, frequent fasting, the cold and nakedness

– 2 Corinthians 11:24-27

Suck it up, mate!! I have essays to do, readings to trawl through, podcasts to endure, boooooring lectures to sit through… and you tell me to count it all JOY?? Mate, I’ll take the shipwrecks any day…

… I am totally kidding.

Sooooo… I need to complain less and trust Him more. To lift my eyes and fix them on Him, no matter how sucky my circumstances feel. I need to count it all joy, be content in all circumstances, be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances.

Not that God doesn’t notice or care about how much I hate being at uni… He knows all the reasons why I hate it… but He also knows all the reasons why He won’t let me get out… He knows the desires He put in my heart, He knows the gifts and abilities He’s given me, He knows the things I enjoy, He knows what fascinates me… and what makes me so bored I want to run out of a lecture hall SCREAMING!!… He knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11)… He has searched me and knows me (Psalm 139:1)… He created me… and He loves me. He hears my prayers, He sees every time I cry and treasures every tear (Psalm 56:8), He sees my confusion and distress… and yet even though He sees the big picture and is so much bigger than all these things that seem so overwhelming for my little heart… in all my distress He is distressed (Isaiah 63:9)… because He loves me.

He loves me… *smile*… that truth is enough to make me smile and feel just a little more peaceful even in the midst of a trying day at work or uni… enough to make me want to dance and sing all the time… enough to be transforming everything about me… enough to set my heart on a pilgrimage (Psalm 84:5)… enough to turn my heart from hating Him to loving Him.

And hey, I am fully deserving of hell… but now I get to be with Him forever, dwelling eternally in the fullness of joy in His presence (Psalm 16:11). I have to get through uni first though… but it’s better than hell

Sooo one justification I had for wagging uni was that it gave me more time for things of eternal worth… ie. studying the eternal Word of God (Isaiah 40:8). Buuut God blew that one outta the water last night during a teaching on calling… eg. internal (intimacy), external (ministry) and eternal. He reminded me that we get eternal rewards according to our faithfulness with even little things (Luke19:17)… on this side of eternity.

… including our faithfulness with rolling outta bed and into a lecture at a university that in accordance with His good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2) He wants you to go to. His will that remains unchanged despite loud protesting and frequent wagging on my end. (Oh, if you don’t know what ‘wagging’ means… it is apparently the same as ‘bunking’… I think… if you are American, anyway…)

Yep, I desire eternal rewards. As well as 100% obedience. And so I went to uni today.

Yay for me.

Yay for eternal rewards.

But most of all, yay for the God who delights in mercy (Micah 7:18), rewarding us for the obedience which is surely commanded by the very fact that He is the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8)… rewarding us when He owes us nothing. He has already given us the most incredible gift of all… eternity with Him, through His Son going to the cross (John 3:16). But if that wasn’t reward enough… we get further reward. Even for faithfulness with the little.

Surely, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9)…

… and for me for actually going (albeit doing a little internal kicking and screaming… my heart is very much a work in progress…) to university. It’s a small thing… but even small things mean so much to Him (Song of Songs 4:9)… and on top of the joy of knowing that even in my weakness I move the heart of God… I take heart in that He will reward me. I toootally don’t deserve it… but He will.

He is so kind

I was plunkin’ away at the keys the other day… I was just meandering my way around the Bible… singing things that caught my eye, cross referencing, exploring the what these verses mean, playing around with chord progressions… lingering at the keys as time slipped away… because He loves me and loves to hear my voice (Song of Songs 2:14)… and oh, how I love to sing my heart out to Him

And in amongst all of that, this verse caught my eye…

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone…” Psalm 62:5

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. For in His presence is fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11). Why spend life running around, trying to find happiness in anything and everything apart from God… when in the presence of the omnipresent God (Psalm 139:7) who dwells within me (1 Corinthians 6:19) and whom I can come boldly before (Hebrews 4:16) is pleasure forevermore. He has given me the gift of righteousness (Romans 5:17)… the gift of right standing before Him. I don’t have to try and earn His love… I don’t have to strive to be found worthy of love. For when I was His enemy He loved me enough to send His Son as an atoning sacrifice for my sins (Romans 5:10, 1 John 4:10)… and His love remains unchanged. Find rest, O my soul, in the One who knows me better than I do, yet still loves me. Sees all my darkness, and declares that I am lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). Calling things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17)… calling them out and into existence. The same voice that spoke creation (Genesis 1)… calls me lovely. And so I am. And so I will be.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone. The One my soul longs for (Psalm 63:1). The One who created me to long for Him. The One who will give me desires of my heart when I delight myself in the One whom I desire above all else (Psalm 37:4). The One I desire to seek and gaze upon all the days of my life (Psalm 27:4). The One who is holy (too many references to name just one…), the One who stands alone, transcending all others (Song of Songs 2:3)… in this One alone may I find complete rest.

I want to feel my need for God… and take it and run not to another but into Him. I want to be my heart to be aching with hunger for God… and not being satisfied with anything less. For only He can satisfy. And He will still the hunger of those He cherishes (Psalm 17:14)… stilling my hunger for Him with Himself… and yet leave me so much hungrier than I was… only to be satisfied again… and on and on and on… ever drawing me deeper. Surely, He will take me to Himself (Psalm 49:15). Though many a man claims to have unfailing love (Proverbs 20:6)… only in Him will I find perfect, unfailing, everlasting love. That which He has so graciously lavished upon me (1 John 3:1). Oh, that I would not become complacent… lulled into a false sense of security (Amos 6:1)… content with other lovers… why run after other lovers (Hosea 2:7) when I am relentlessly pursued by the One who is love (1 John 4:8)??

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone…

“Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” Matthew 25:46

No matter what, we are going to exist forever. But Biblically, this eternal ‘existing’ is not synonymous with eternal life… eternal life is conditional…

• “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?” Matthew 19:16
• “… everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or fields for My sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life.” Matthew 19:29
• “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
• “Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life…” John 3:36
• “… whoever hears My word and believes Him who sent Me has eternal life…” John 5:24

Eternal existence… that which we all get… or eternal life… that which is only available through Jesus (John 17:2). What is eternal life, then?? Jesus defines it for us:

“Now this is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent.” John 17:3

It’s all about the knowledge of God… that which I so desire… so I am pretty excited about eternal life :D because oh how I long for the knowledge of God… understanding that fuels my heart to love Him still more and more. And I figure that since God is infinite it would take eternity to search Him out… so that’s how long I want to have to do just that… and that’s exactly how long He gives me… *happy sigh*

Eternal life is to spend eternity growing in the knowledge of God and LOVING every moment of it… with the alternative being eternal torment in the presence of God (Revelation 14:10). Close… yet so far away… forever subject to His wrath. Eternal torment in the presence of the One who died to atone for our sins that we could instead experience eternal joy in His presence (Psalm 16:11). Either way we are going to exist forever in His presence… but it’ll either be eternal life or eternal torment… I want eternal life.

And even though I am fully deserving of eternal torment… Jesus was pierced for my transgressions, crushed for my iniquities… and the punishment that reconciled me to God was upon Him (Isaiah 53:5). When I was His enemy (Romans 5:10)… dead in my sin (Ephesians 2:1)… Jesus died that I could be with Him forever. I was dead in sin… but now I am dead to sin (Romans 6:2)… because He loves me… and so I love Him… because He loved me first (1 John 4:19)… and now I get to be with Him forever.

*happy sigh*

I saw an ad yesterday for what appears to be a celebrity gossip website… the website’s ‘catchy’ slogan?? “Where fans go to worship.” I felt slightly sick when I saw that. My friend next to me goes “ummmm… end times worship movement…” and I agreed.

We were made to worship God… the One… the only One… who is worthy of all glory, honour, power and praise (Revelation 4:13). He is worthy of our attention, our devotion… all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). But already so many other things tug at our minds and our hearts for our attention and devotion. Our culture is already so full of idolatry… it glorifies it. American Idol. Celebrity gossip sites… where fans go to worship. People collecting lots of memorabilia of their favourite footy team and calling it their ’shrine’. Oh, these things that we sacrifice our time and money to…

… about a year ago (when I was a Christian and about to leave for my internship at the International House of Prayer), I paid seventy-something dollars and went to see my formerly favourite band in concert. I was having fun in the moshpit… jumpin’ around with everyone else… pushing and shoving along with everyone else… screaming out the lyrics with everyone else… reaching out to try and touch the lead singer with everyone else… lifting up my hands before the band along with everyone else… and then in then middle of all that madness I suddenly stopped… lowered my hands… and was like “… what am I doing????” and, feeling quite shaken, ran into His unending mercy and repented. It all looked no different to a high-energy church service… except we weren’t worshipping the Lord and singing about Him. We were worshipping a band and singing about how alone we feel and how overwhelmed we feel by all the darkness inside… any surprise that I used to cut myself listening to this band’s albums??

The world today is getting so good at this worship thing… and soon a man is going to come along and bring ‘peace’ to the Middle East (Daniel 9:27)… three and a half years later he is going to demand that everyone worship his image… and will kill everyone who refuses (Revelation 13:14-15). But why would you refuse, when he has brought ‘peace’ and economic reform (Revelation 13:16-17) and established a worldwide religion (Revelation 17)…?

I can think of a very good reason to refuse… the Antichrist is not God.

Oh that my heart would be ready… I want to prepare my heart for what it is to come. I have to eat the scroll (Revelation 10:9)… I have to be devoted to long and loving meditation in the Word of God that His truth would be written upon my heart (Proverbs 3:3). I want to have a history of intimacy, a history of worship and undistracted devotion to Him… He is worthy of nothing less.

If in that day I choose to worship God alone I could be killed by the Antichrist… and then I will enter the fullness of joy in the presence of the One I love (Psalm 16:11). Or I could worship the Antichrist and live another day… only to spend eternity tormented in the presence of the One I chose to despise (Revelation 14:10).

So today… and every day… I set my heart to worship God. For I will have to choose on that day… and my life… both temporal and eternal… will hinge on it.

… I have already made my choice… and oh God, give me grace to remain steady…

These verses have been going round and round my heart for the past couple of weeks…

“This is love: not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

“… when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to Him through the death of His Son…” Romans 5:10

… and tonight we were doing worship with the Word, all about the crucifixion (today is Good Friday)… and these verses continued to go round and round my heart… and sometimes even out into my singing.

I love this… that God loved us so much, even when we hated Him, that He sent His Son to die for our sins… the sin that we chose over Him back in the garden (Genesis 3)… and over and over and over again since. But He loved us… and still desired that we would be with Him forever (John 17:24). So Jesus died to reconcile us to God… that we could be with Him forever. We deserve eternal torment… yet because Jesus went to the cross, forever we can experience the fullness of joy in His presence (Psalm 16:11).

We are so loved

And so I live to return that love… in my weak-but-true way that moves His heart (Song of Songs 4:9)… *happy sigh*

Tonight after prayer (Wednesday night worship with the Word yaaaay!!) I was out in an icecream shop (I really like icecream :D as well as donuts. Once in Japan I had an donut with icecream in it. Oh, happy day!!). I was just a couple of minutes down the road from the prayer room, in the middle of the city we pray for so often… and a fight broke out (not in the icecream shop… but nearby). And my first thought was “oh, Jesus come back…”

When Jesus comes back He will establish His righteous government on the earth (Psalm 89:14) and bring an end to wickedness (Daniel 9:24)… no more brawls!! So when I pray for Him to come back I am asking for this. But before He comes back wickedness will increase (Matthew 24:12). And it’s not going to be like tonight in the icecream shop. I am not going to be safe because I don’t want to fight. Christians will be persecuted and put to death, and hated by all nations (Matthew 24:9). Yes, martyrdom does happen right now… but not at a global scale. Today in the country I live in, Christianity does not attract the death penalty. Me and my friend were praying in the icecream shop and nobody dragged us off to prison.

All that to say… things are going to get worse before they get better. So when I ask for Him to come back I am ushering in the full package… the increase in wickedness… but then His return. In His perfect wisdom, that is the way He wanted it… who am I to think I know better??

It will be glorious. The church is going to come out the other side clothed in righteousness (Revelation 19:8). A pure and spotless Bride… for the pure and spotless Lamb. With hearts burning with unquenchable love (Song of Songs 8:7). A people who will come out declaring “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for true and just are His judgements” (Revelation 19:1-2). A bride coming up from the wilderness leaning upon her Beloved (Song of Songs 8:5).

It will be the darkest hour the world has ever seen… followed by an eternity of God dwelling with man (Revelation 21:3). Hallelujah!!

Soooo, in a nutshell… people fight, I pray for Jesus to come back, fighting and all other wickedness will increase (Matthew 24:12), the world will go nuts and try to fight God (Psalm 2:2)… and then Jesus will come back

All that in mind, my prayer remains the same… “oh, Jesus come back…”

… but I am feelin’ the need to be rooted and grounded in His love (Ephesians 3:17) so that as He shakes everything (Haggai 2:6-7) I will not fall away… my love will not grow cold (Matthew 24:12)… but that I would be found with the rest of the Bride: pure and spotless, with a heart burning with unquenchable love, declaring the praise of my just and true God, leaning upon my Beloved.

Loving other people… I can be pretty sucky at it.

In a way, I guess I find loving God ‘easier’… because I know that no matter what He loves me… just as I am… to love other people involves me opening up and letting them love me… means letting them see the darkness which I try to hide. And I still need to grow in revelation of the ‘dark yet lovely’ (Song of Songs 1:5) principle… but to some extent I ‘get’ it… enough to ‘expect’ it from God. But I honestly find it harder with people… it’s like I don’t trust them to find me lovely when faced with my darkness. And that hinders my heart from loving them… because I’m too scared to let them love me.

I think about this a lot… who am I to not love those God loves? Those He died for (John 3:16)… and I don’t show them love. And He has so loved me… oh that that revelation would cause love to abound in and overflow from my heart. And He commands me to love others (Luke 10:27). It’s right up there behind loving Him.

And it’s not just loving people who I expect to return my love… He calls me to loving my enemies (Matthew 5:44). Trying to love like He does… faithfully, even when met with unfaithfulness. Like Hosea and Gomer… like God and Israel… like God and me. This is how He loves… and I want to be like that. I want to do more than simply ‘accept and appreciate’ His love… I want to live it… to have it fill my heart and overflow into loving Him… and loving others.

Even if it ‘costs’ me (what love doesn’t??)… even if it would be ‘unreturned’… would being like Him, obeying Him, knowing He sees and knowing that even my weak efforts move His heart (Song of Songs 4:9) be reward enough. Would I find delight in the fact that I am loving… or at least trying to…

Would my love not be conditional… only offered if it’s going to be responded to with equal or greater love… that’s not how He loves, and I want to love as He does… for His love is perfect. And I want to be filled with confidence in His love. For knowing He loves me gives me strength to love others. Knowing that He loves them helps too Knowing that the love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19) is ever for me… the only love that will ever fully satisfy is already towards me… gives me strength to ‘risk’ not being loved in return.

Also, I want to be loved by others … but I am always waiting for the other person to be vulnerable so I can love the other person in their weakness… but they are waiting as well. So nothing happens. Argh.

And it’s not always as seemingly heroic as responding with love when being confronted with someone else’s weakness. What about being constant… always, always responding with love. No matter the circumstance. Big, small, if they’re your best friend, if they’re your enemy… always loving.

Wooow I am getting sleepy and rambly now… sooo goodnight

This Wednesday night we are worship with the word-ing John 15:13-17… and so I was studying for it tonight (I still am, but am taking a break to blog…) and so I biblegatewayed “great love” and, well, the Bible verses that came up made me feel excited :D so I am sharing them here…

• “… the greatness of Your steadfast love…” Numbers 14:19
• “You have shown great and steadfast love…” 1 Kings 3:6
• “He is good; His love… endures forever.” Ezra 3:11
• “Show the wonder of Your great love, You who save by Your right hand those who take refuge in You from their foes.” Psalm 17:7
• “… Your great mercy and love… they are from of old.” Psalm 25:6
• “… great is Your love, reaching to the heavens…” Psalm 57:10
• “… great is Your love, higher than the heavens…” Psalm 108:4
• “… great is Your love toward me; You have delivered me from the depths of the grave.” Psalm 86:13
• “I will sing of the Lord’s great love forever…” Psalm 89:1
• “… as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him…” Psalm 103:11
• “Whoever is wise, let him heed these things and consider the great love of the Lord.” Psalm 107:43
• “… great is His love toward us…” Psalm 117:2
• “… His love endures forever.” Psalm 136:4
• “… in love You have delivered my life from the pit of destruction…” Isaiah 38:17
• “I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord… the abundance of His steadfast love.” Isaiah 63:7
• “… so great is His unfailing love.” Lamentations 3:32
• “… because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions…” Ephesians 2:4-5
• “How great is the love the Father has lavished on us…” 1 John 3:1

 … truly, there is NO greater love than this (John 15:13)

 I get a funny feeling reading them… I feel moved by them… and yet I know they should move me so much more than they do… so I am going to stop blogging and keep studying and meditating on them … cuz that’s something I really want in my blogging… I don’t want my blog to be my meditation time, I want it to be the overflow of what I learn in the times where it’s just me and God.

… oh but before I go, one more quick thought… read Psalm 107:43 again… meditating on His love is wisdom!! … that makes me excited