This the response to a teaser in a previous post. I tried to be kind of sneaky because I don’t know for sure, so I was wondering what my readers thought… and I love Katie’s answer (click on the link to the previous post to see her answer). And I talked to a friend who goes to Bible college and he said something I like a lot, that the light then came from the same place the light is going to come from when there is again no sun.

“The city does not need the sun or the moon to shine on it, for the glory of God gives it light, and the Lamb is its lamp.”

– Revelation 21:23

Yep. Good answer. And then props to Biblegateway for these…

• “… You are my lamp, O LORD, and my God lightens my darkness.” 2 Samuel 22:29
• “… our God gives light to our eyes…” Ezra 9:8
• “… LORD, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us.” Psalm 4:6
• “For the LORD God is a sun and shield…” Psalm 84:11
• “The LORD is God, and He Has made His light shine upon us.” Psalm 118:27
• “The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the LORD will be your everlasting light…” Isaiah 60:19
• “… the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:4
• “For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6
• “… declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light.” 1 Peter 2:9
• “… God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all.” 1 John 1:5
• “… the glory of God gives [the New Jerusalem] light…” Revelation 21:23
• “They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light.” Revelation 22:5

I love 1 John 1:5. That God is light. Although that doesn’t mean that light is God. Maybe a bit like a rooster is a chicken but a chicken isn’t necessarily a rooster. God is way more intense than a rooster though but at any rate, one BIG reason why light cannot be God is because God is uncreated. God is the Creator (Romans 1:25), not a creation. God didn’t say “Let there be God…” because that would mean He was created, and that He had a beginning. HE is the beginning (Revelation 1:8).

So I like what Revelation 21:23 says. That His glory gives light… soooo maybe the light was His glory being revealed through creation… to creation. We were, after all, created for His glory (Isaiah 43:7)… and even the heavens declare His glory (Psalm 19:1). So maybe it’s about His glory being revealed in the tangible and visible… that we would encounter Him. Let there be light… let God be revealed to something other than God.

Yep… those are my thoughts… I’m glad you’re reading this, it means my thoughts are getting bounced like a multicoloured bouncy ball… hopefully my thoughts about God are more than a bouncy ball… then again, they are but a drop in an unending ocean…

Eternity is so exciting… that’s how long it takes to search out God… and that’s exactly how long He gives us

Lately as I’ve been reading the Word and meditating on it and praying it back to Him… He has taking me just a little bit deeper into understanding of who He is and the greatness of His love… and my response has often been an awestruck “… really?” As in, ‘You’re really that kind? You are that merciful? Like, Your Word truly means what it says when it says all those incredible things about You? That’s really who You are??’ Not that I didn’t believe those things before, but it’s like they’re coming alive to my heart… and I’m so in awe that this beautiful God loves me.

And then I was a bit sad too… that so many (… and even sometimes my own little heart) buy into the lie that God is a mostly angry deity, looming over us full of hostility towards us, just waiting for us to slip up so He can give up on us, cast us out of His presence and into hell. But when we read the Word we see the truth about Him… that He is the One who delights in mercy (Micah 7:18), has compassion on all that He has made (Psalm 145:9), the One who is compassionate, gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love and faithfulness (Psalm 86:15), the One who carries His people close to His heart (Isaiah 40:11), the One who so loved the world that He gave His only Son that we could be with Him forever (John 3:16), the One whose love for us is so much greater than our hearts’ tilt towards sin, the One who remains faithful to us even when we are unfaithful, the One who judges in perfect righteousness (Revelation 19:11)… and so on and so on… I can’t write it all out, so go read the Bible…

I want to know truth about Him… I want to know Him as He is… I want my eyes to see the King in all of His beauty (Isaiah 33:17)… for He is too good to settle for believing less than the truth of who He is.

I am so in awe of God… this One who is love (1 John 4:8)… and loves me. The One who has searched me and knows me (Psalm 139:1)… who sees all the darkness and the unsettled issues… and yet calls me lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). The One who knows the plans He has for me (Jeremiah 29:11), the One who is leading me in paths of righteousness (Psalm 23:3), the One who allures me into the wilderness and speaks tenderly to me (Hosea 2:14)… that I would come up leaning upon Him (Song of Songs 8:5). The One whose great pleasure it was to create me (Revelation 5:11), fully knowing how many times I would choose disobedience and run after all those other things instead of into Him… and in spite of that loving me. Loving me even when I was His enemy (Romans 5:10). Loving me first… knowing that when I began to see His pursuit of me and begin to glimpse His love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19) I would love Him in return. I love Him because He first loved me (1 John 4:19).

This is why I was created: to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). It’s more than a commandment, it’s my life vision… and what He is fully able and more willing than I can comprehend to bring into reality. Because it’s not about me gritting my teeth and making myself love Him more… it’s Him who is love showing me what love is, showing me the love He has for me and so awakening my heart to love Him still more and more. Him captivating my heart by opening my eyes to see still more of His beauty. He is the One who crowns me with love and compassion (Psalm 103:4)… the One who takes my ashes and gives me beauty (Isaiah 61:3). I don’t deserve it and I certainly could never earn it… and yet His love has been lavished upon me (1 John 3:1). He delights in showing mercy (Micah 7:18)… and delights in me.

What a beautiful God. I love Him … I love Him as best I can… in my weak-but-true way which somehow overwhelms His heart (Song of Songs 4:9)… *happy sigh*

Soooo… obedience. The Lord likes it (1 Samuel 15:22). He is the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8)… that fact alone commands it. I like the idea of it, especially the idea of me living it 100%… but I often don’t like the fact that it can be hurty. And so I am so often so quick to choose disobedience because it doesn’t hurt (at the time anyway)… but, well, God is pretty good at ska-weeeeezing my little heart (aka. conviction)… or removing His presence beyond my ability to feel it (Song of Songs 3:1)… which also hurts my little heart… until I’m like “ow ow I’m sorry!!” and come running back and into His unending mercy (Revelation 4:3)… into the fact that because He loves me Jesus became the atoning sacrifice for my sins (1 John 4:10)… and then get caught up in the wonder that through no achievement or righteousness of my own I have been given right-standing before God (Romans 5:17). Be amazed that this God who knows me completely (Psalm 139:1)… sees the darkness yet calls me lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). Try to comprehend the love that caused Jesus to be pierced for my transgressions… crushed for my iniquities (Isaiah 53:5)… this love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19)…

In the face of this love… this grace that has been given to me… whyyyy would I want to disobey? To grieve the One who loves me so much and delights in me??

And yet I do…

But I am getting better. Going from strength to strength (Psalm 84:7)… even though I still am so weak… for He gives strength to those who have none (Isaiah 40:29). He is so kind. So merciful… delighting in showing mercy (Micah 7:18)… delighting in me… delighting in showing me mercy. Yes, I stumble… but He gives me strength to get up and keep plugging away (Job 4:4)… knowing that the stumbles don’t intimidate or overwhelm Him… yet somehow my little weak love overwhelms His heart (Song of Songs 4:9). Knowing that when I choose to get up again, to trust in His love, to set my heart on a pilgrimage (Psalm 84:5), to forget the other lovers and run after Him (Hosea 2:7)… it matters to Him. And I don’t have to cautiously come back… face a God who is frosty and distant because I ’surprised’ Him or ‘ruined all His plans’ by messing up again… no, I come boldly before a throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16)… and am met by Him running out to meet me as I come back (Luke 15:20)… and my mistakes and stumbles could never be so big as to cancel out His Sovereignity.

Now, I am certainly not saying that I have no need to try to obey completely… the Bible is clear that we are to make every effort to be holy (Hebrews 12:14), that He desires our obedience (1 Samuel 15:22), that there are definitely rewards for obedience (Psalm 149:19, Psalm 84:11… among LOTS of others…)… but until I get there… while I am still stumbling away… His grace is sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).

He loves me, yes yes He does!!  *dancedancedance* … and so I love Him (1 John 4:19)… how could I not love the One who loves me so much??

And He loves you… and He loves everybody (John 3:16)… that is exciting!!

… also terrifying, when you consider His jealousy.

This verse belongs on the list of verses that do my head in:

“You number my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle; are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8

I was never big on crying… until I went to IHOP. Ohhh dear. Yep, I became a crier. No longer pushing emotions down and out of my mind… but allowed myself to feel. Fear, tenderness, frustration, repentance, joy etcetc… it all made me a bit teary. Still does… but to a lesser extent… and I don’t know if that is a good thing or a bad thing. Whether it shows I have matured or my heart has gotten harder.

Buuut enough about me, I am here to blog about the verse…

Sooo… I like that. That God treasures my tears. That in all my distress He too is distressed (Isaiah 63:9). That even though He is so much bigger than all my problems that seem so overwhelming to my little heart… He is upset that I am upset… because He loves me. He cares about me… and so beckons me to cast all my cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7). It is incredible enough that He even sees my tears and hears my cries (2 Kings 20:5)… but He even stores my tears and records my laments.

When it came to this verse I used to be… and, well, sometimes still can be… part of the “Bible-but Club” (yep, Stuart Greaves has a way with words…). For example I would think that “… the Bible says God stores my tears but… obviously it’s only when I’m crying about the ‘right’ things eg. feelin’ all tender towards Him, getting fresh revelation of His mercy etctec…” and somehow thought that when I was crying about things like me not understanding and being unable to see past something that was making my little heart feel overwhelmed He was disappointed in me for not understanding and so somehow my tears didn’t ‘count’ before Him… that those ones didn’t make it into God’s bottle. Believing that when I don’t “have it all together” my cries mean nothing to Him. Twisting the truth that His ears are attentive to the cry of the righteous (Psalm 34:15) to not include me… despite the fact that through Christ Jesus I now have the gift of righteousness before Him (Romans 5:17). Telling myself that He knows me better than I do (Psalm 139:1), and I am feelin’ pretty overwhelmed by all the darkness in my heart… so obviously He is mad at me too… forgetting that yet He sees the darkness… but He also sees the weak but true desire to fully love and obey Him… and so calls me lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). Forgetting that even when I was His enemy He loved me enough to die for me (Romans 5:10). Forgetting that any righteousness I work up in my own strength is still as filthy rags to Him (Isaiah 64:6), the Holy Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8)… forgetting that I could never ‘earn’ His love. I could never come before Him confident in my own righteousness… but I can boldy come before Him (Hebrews 4:16) because of His great mercy and His righteousness (Daniel 9:18)… the righteousness He has given me.

I need revelation of just how much he loves me… just how tender He is towards me even in my weakness… for my heart to truly believe all the time that my sin, weaknesses and all the little unsettled issues don’t overwhelm Him… yet one little weak glance ravishes His heart (Song of Songs 4:9)… and every little tear is seen… and treasured.

Sooo one justification I had for wagging uni was that it gave me more time for things of eternal worth… ie. studying the eternal Word of God (Isaiah 40:8). Buuut God blew that one outta the water last night during a teaching on calling… eg. internal (intimacy), external (ministry) and eternal. He reminded me that we get eternal rewards according to our faithfulness with even little things (Luke19:17)… on this side of eternity.

… including our faithfulness with rolling outta bed and into a lecture at a university that in accordance with His good, pleasing and perfect will (Romans 12:2) He wants you to go to. His will that remains unchanged despite loud protesting and frequent wagging on my end. (Oh, if you don’t know what ‘wagging’ means… it is apparently the same as ‘bunking’… I think… if you are American, anyway…)

Yep, I desire eternal rewards. As well as 100% obedience. And so I went to uni today.

Yay for me.

Yay for eternal rewards.

But most of all, yay for the God who delights in mercy (Micah 7:18), rewarding us for the obedience which is surely commanded by the very fact that He is the Lord God Almighty (Revelation 4:8)… rewarding us when He owes us nothing. He has already given us the most incredible gift of all… eternity with Him, through His Son going to the cross (John 3:16). But if that wasn’t reward enough… we get further reward. Even for faithfulness with the little.

Surely, no eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him (1 Corinthians 2:9)…

… and for me for actually going (albeit doing a little internal kicking and screaming… my heart is very much a work in progress…) to university. It’s a small thing… but even small things mean so much to Him (Song of Songs 4:9)… and on top of the joy of knowing that even in my weakness I move the heart of God… I take heart in that He will reward me. I toootally don’t deserve it… but He will.

He is so kind

God hears and sees us… isn’t that exciting??

The uncreated God, the Holy One, the Lord God Almighty who created all things (Revelation 4:11), God so high and lofty (Isaiah 57:15)… hears us, sees every movement of our hearts… and is moved. The One who is unmoved by raging nations (Psalm 2)… notices and is completely overwhelmed by every weak glance towards Him (Song of Songs 4:9). Doesn’t that just make you wanna glance… make your life one unbroken gaze?? Lift your voice? Dance before Him knowing that He sees it and LOVES it!! Why?? Because He loves you!!

*happy sigh*

I saw an ad yesterday for what appears to be a celebrity gossip website… the website’s ‘catchy’ slogan?? “Where fans go to worship.” I felt slightly sick when I saw that. My friend next to me goes “ummmm… end times worship movement…” and I agreed.

We were made to worship God… the One… the only One… who is worthy of all glory, honour, power and praise (Revelation 4:13). He is worthy of our attention, our devotion… all of our heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). But already so many other things tug at our minds and our hearts for our attention and devotion. Our culture is already so full of idolatry… it glorifies it. American Idol. Celebrity gossip sites… where fans go to worship. People collecting lots of memorabilia of their favourite footy team and calling it their ’shrine’. Oh, these things that we sacrifice our time and money to…

… about a year ago (when I was a Christian and about to leave for my internship at the International House of Prayer), I paid seventy-something dollars and went to see my formerly favourite band in concert. I was having fun in the moshpit… jumpin’ around with everyone else… pushing and shoving along with everyone else… screaming out the lyrics with everyone else… reaching out to try and touch the lead singer with everyone else… lifting up my hands before the band along with everyone else… and then in then middle of all that madness I suddenly stopped… lowered my hands… and was like “… what am I doing????” and, feeling quite shaken, ran into His unending mercy and repented. It all looked no different to a high-energy church service… except we weren’t worshipping the Lord and singing about Him. We were worshipping a band and singing about how alone we feel and how overwhelmed we feel by all the darkness inside… any surprise that I used to cut myself listening to this band’s albums??

The world today is getting so good at this worship thing… and soon a man is going to come along and bring ‘peace’ to the Middle East (Daniel 9:27)… three and a half years later he is going to demand that everyone worship his image… and will kill everyone who refuses (Revelation 13:14-15). But why would you refuse, when he has brought ‘peace’ and economic reform (Revelation 13:16-17) and established a worldwide religion (Revelation 17)…?

I can think of a very good reason to refuse… the Antichrist is not God.

Oh that my heart would be ready… I want to prepare my heart for what it is to come. I have to eat the scroll (Revelation 10:9)… I have to be devoted to long and loving meditation in the Word of God that His truth would be written upon my heart (Proverbs 3:3). I want to have a history of intimacy, a history of worship and undistracted devotion to Him… He is worthy of nothing less.

If in that day I choose to worship God alone I could be killed by the Antichrist… and then I will enter the fullness of joy in the presence of the One I love (Psalm 16:11). Or I could worship the Antichrist and live another day… only to spend eternity tormented in the presence of the One I chose to despise (Revelation 14:10).

So today… and every day… I set my heart to worship God. For I will have to choose on that day… and my life… both temporal and eternal… will hinge on it.

… I have already made my choice… and oh God, give me grace to remain steady…

Here is a verse that does my head in:

“Jesus replied, ‘Friend, do what you came for.’” Matthew 26:50

This is the context… the man Jesus is calling ‘friend’ is none other than Judas Iscariot, who has just betrayed Him with a kiss. Jesus has been betrayed unto a slow and painful death on the cross… and yet still calls him ‘friend’. ARGH!! My little head can’t get around that. Proverbs 17:17 says that a friend loves at all times… Jesus loved Judas and called him a friend… even though this is the man who had just betrayed Him. What love is this??

And He calls us His friends… He chose us to be His friends (John 15:15-16). He has chosen us to be those who love Him at all times (Proverbs 17:17). He has chosen us to be those fully obedient to His will (John 15:14). Even though we chose disobedience in the garden (Genesis 3). Even though our hearts are inclined to love darkness (John 3:19). He has called us friends… calling us up and out of our love of darkness and disobedience and into wholehearted love and obedience. He called us out of darkness and into the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus (2 Corinthians 4:6). He delivered us because He delighted in us (Psalm 18:19)… even when we found no delight in Him. When we were His enemies He died for us (Romans 5:10)… because He loved us. Truly, there is NO greater love than this (John 15:13). And He says to us: you shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength (Mark 12:30). A commandment… a prophecy… the vision statement of my life

A third of the angels in heaven rebelled (Revelation 4:12) and He banished them (Revelation 12:8). No second chances. Yet all of mankind chose to rebel… and He refused to sit back and let us go. He so loved us that He sent His Son to the cross as an atoning sacrifice for our sins, that we might return to Him and be with Him forever (John 3:16). This is love (1 John 4:10)… and it is for us (Song of Songs 7:10). He has pursued us… He is so determined to love.

You can see it in His faithfulness to Israel. Even after all of her harlotry… the Lord Almighty will be her Husband (Isaiah 54:5). He is fully committed to redeeming her (Isaiah 63:9) and establishing her in righteousness (Isaiah 62:1). He is undeterred by her lack of love towards Him but keeps on loving faithfully… knowing that one day she will return and she will be glorious (Isaiah 62:2)… but only because of His love. Not because of anything she ‘earned’. But simply because He loves her.

I am so glad that God is exactly the way He is!! I LOVE that God is love (1 John 4:8)!! Love that is knowledge surpassing (Ephesians 3:19), an all-consuming (Deuteronomy 4:24) and unquenchable fire (Song of Songs 8:7)… all that directed towards me… and you… and everybody… longing for us to turn to Him… and love in return.

And yet so many don’t. And won’t. And yet somehow… He chose me to one who would love Him (Romans 8:28-29). I am so unworthy of His love… yet it remains for me… He considers me worthy of love… how could I not love the One who loves me so incomprehensibly much?? The One who knows my darkness more than I do… and yet calls me lovely (Song of Songs 1:5). He sees rightly… and calls me lovely. Calling things that are not as though they were (Romans 4:17). Calling them into being… this One who spoke creation (Genesis 1). He calls me lovely… and so I am (in part…)… and so I will be.

Woooow… reading through again, this is full of bunny trails… Jesus’ love for Judas, Christians, mankind in general, Israel, me, you, everybody, back to me… my heart was overflowin’ with a good theme for sure… LOVE

Tonight after prayer (Wednesday night worship with the Word yaaaay!!) I was out in an icecream shop (I really like icecream :D as well as donuts. Once in Japan I had an donut with icecream in it. Oh, happy day!!). I was just a couple of minutes down the road from the prayer room, in the middle of the city we pray for so often… and a fight broke out (not in the icecream shop… but nearby). And my first thought was “oh, Jesus come back…”

When Jesus comes back He will establish His righteous government on the earth (Psalm 89:14) and bring an end to wickedness (Daniel 9:24)… no more brawls!! So when I pray for Him to come back I am asking for this. But before He comes back wickedness will increase (Matthew 24:12). And it’s not going to be like tonight in the icecream shop. I am not going to be safe because I don’t want to fight. Christians will be persecuted and put to death, and hated by all nations (Matthew 24:9). Yes, martyrdom does happen right now… but not at a global scale. Today in the country I live in, Christianity does not attract the death penalty. Me and my friend were praying in the icecream shop and nobody dragged us off to prison.

All that to say… things are going to get worse before they get better. So when I ask for Him to come back I am ushering in the full package… the increase in wickedness… but then His return. In His perfect wisdom, that is the way He wanted it… who am I to think I know better??

It will be glorious. The church is going to come out the other side clothed in righteousness (Revelation 19:8). A pure and spotless Bride… for the pure and spotless Lamb. With hearts burning with unquenchable love (Song of Songs 8:7). A people who will come out declaring “Hallelujah! Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for true and just are His judgements” (Revelation 19:1-2). A bride coming up from the wilderness leaning upon her Beloved (Song of Songs 8:5).

It will be the darkest hour the world has ever seen… followed by an eternity of God dwelling with man (Revelation 21:3). Hallelujah!!

Soooo, in a nutshell… people fight, I pray for Jesus to come back, fighting and all other wickedness will increase (Matthew 24:12), the world will go nuts and try to fight God (Psalm 2:2)… and then Jesus will come back

All that in mind, my prayer remains the same… “oh, Jesus come back…”

… but I am feelin’ the need to be rooted and grounded in His love (Ephesians 3:17) so that as He shakes everything (Haggai 2:6-7) I will not fall away… my love will not grow cold (Matthew 24:12)… but that I would be found with the rest of the Bride: pure and spotless, with a heart burning with unquenchable love, declaring the praise of my just and true God, leaning upon my Beloved.